Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

I wish that somehow this blog post could find its way to you.

I wish, more than anything, that you could be here...right now.

I can't believe that it's been nearly 10 years.

There are so many times that I've wished and prayed and begged God to make these circumstances that are my life, different, than what they are.

When I was growing up, I didn't realize that we lived in this sheltered, happy, little bubble where tragedy and bad things were completely unheard of.

I mean, yeah, we (our family) had our share of issues, and things to deal with...seriously, if we're being honest with ourselves, who doesn't?!

But, when the day was done, and it was time to be tucked into bed, I knew deep down inside, that you and mom loved me more than I could possibly imagine ...

and that I was here, for a reason, a purpose, bigger than myself.

You two helped me believe that.

These days, you will often find me sitting behind the wheel of a Chevy Suburban that is in desperate need of a change of oil, a good vacuuming, and a soapy carwash...

where french fries, stinky basketball shoes, and half drank bottles of water rest upon the floor.

You might call me a 'soccer mom', although these crazy kids of mine have never participated in the sport.

I know my way around any ball field and gymnasium with-in a 75 mile radius...

and a lot of days I want to rip the tiny hairs out of my head,

stressed out to the max,

trying to make a plan about who is supposed to be where, and when, and wondering just how in the hell am I supposed to get 3 kids to 3 different destinations all happening at the same, exact time?!

Dad, 

I wish you were here.

I can't even imagine how loudly you'd be cheering when Tanner sank that game winning, 3-point shot in basketball...

or when Madi struck the 3rd batter out in a clutch game of softball,

or when Tyson finally got over his fear of striking out and hit a grand slam to win the baseball game.

You were my biggest fan,

and I know, with all that I am, that you would be theirs.

I like to think that you are up there,

watching us from above...

reminding me to just BREATHE...

that these moments of stress, are just that, moments...

and they are fleeting and passing me by in the blink of an eye.

And that these kids of mine who were 1 and 2 (and a year from being born) at the time you left us..

somehow know that you are there.

That they have this silent, SUPER, fan cheering them on...

LOVING them from a distance.

Summer-time is our busy {best}-time

Baseball. 

Softball. 

Early morning practice.

Gym time.

Camps.

Strength training.

Basketball tournaments.

And the list goes on and on...

Summer 2017 has been our busiest to date...

with no end in sight.

With kids participating in activities in two different towns, I seem to spend the majority of my week days in the car running from one activity to the next.

Even though I am extremely grateful to have a job that allows me this opportunity, I'm kind of looking forward to getting back into the swing of things at school...

I can't believe I just said that!

Our House

Our house, 

is a very, very, very fine house.

With six cats in the yard...

In our family,

it wouldn't be summer without some new baby kitties.

Madi found these little sweeties up at her grandma and grandpa's today.

It didn't take a lot of persuading to get everyone to come and see them!

Snow Day!

This was Tyson's response to the news that school had been cancelled today! 

It's been one of those days.

Lazy.

Playful.

Fun.

Together.

Moments filled watching the softly falling snow swirl around in the wind outside our windows.

Minutes spent playing and reading and creating.

The kind of day that you don't want to ever come to an end!

So, when my two (not so little anymore) kids, invited me outside to play with them, I just couldn't resist.

I went, even though the adult in me didn't really want to go out into the freezing cold tundra that is Minnesota during a blizzard.

I'm glad they coaxed me out of my hiding place.

Although we didn't last long, and the only respite from the biting wind was on the front porch, we did have a great time.

Madi rescued one of her kitties who refused to walk more than three steps in the snow...

And as for Tyson...

he was more into being his happy, silly boyish self..

running,

jumping,

and diving

into the slippery snow on the porch.

His pure JOY for life is pretty contagious.

I am savoring today.

We needed this.

July 4, 2016

For the first time ever, I attended the 4th of July parade in Erhard with no kids in tow,

and although the lack of fighting and bickering was certainly a welcomed benefit, 

I can honestly say that it made me sad. 

I suddenly had a glimpse into our not so distant future.

A future where these kids of ours don't need mom and dad anymore and just want to do their own thing.

A future where our daughter may make some not so great decisions..like walking the parade with no shoes on her feet (because without mom there it sure seems like a brilliant plan!).

A future where mama smiles when she sees them but cringes inside upon realizing that her not so little babies are waving and smiling at a crowd who call them out by name to get them to throw candy.

They are 7, 10, and 11 and I can feel it.

These years are flying by and moments like these leave me torn…

these 3 make me so proud to be their mama, 

but also so scared that it's going by too damn fast! 

So, I'm thankful that I have these moments of clarity amidst the chaos and crazy that is our everyday life.

They remind me that I need to live more in the moment and let them be kids.

Thankfully, they got the opportunity to do just that when we ventured to our friends house later that day to attend their annual 4th of July celebration.

The kids ran the traditional 'water fight' this year without very much help from the grown ups.

I was pretty happy to sit on the sidelines and capture the afternoon through my lens.

Someday, we're all going to look back on these times and hopefully these images and words make us smile and remember all the fun we had!