Monday, May 29, 2017

A Goat Story

My daughter absolutely adores animals.

She always has.

Luckily for her, she has a good friend who shares her love for four legged mammals.

Yesterday, she convinced her dad and I it was a really good idea to get two more goats to add to the 3 she got 2 years ago.

Although I love her determination and tenacity to go after what she wants,

I don't particularly love that we are fast becoming goat 'hoarders' here at the Tollerud farm.

When I came outside today to check on the girls and see what they were up to,

this is the scene that lay before me...


Little Tilly was sporting Madi's old shirt and was looking adorable and slightly annoyed.

When I questioned them as seriously as I could muster (with a smile playing at the corners of my mouth), this was her response..

"But mom, it's cold out today.

She was shaking!

Now she's not."

My look must not have said I was agreeing with this because she ended on...

"but, Mom, it's ok."

Honestly, how can you resist a baby goat in cute clothes?!

And if you can resist said goat and maybe don't think this is very nice, please stop reading now.

You may not like what you're about to see.

This mama decided that the goat wasn't in distress, appeared to be happy and loved, and said, 'ok, girls.'









Their smiles say it all.

We are making some goat memories this summer!





Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Closing Doors

They say that when one door closes, another door opens.

I don't know if I fully believe this but I do believe that saying good-bye to people and places near and dear to your heart is extremely painful.

In my 36 short years on this planet, I have come to realize that building and maintaining relationships with people who love and care about you is priceless.

No words can describe the amount of gratitude and love I feel for the people who have been like my second family these past 12 years.

This is some hard stuff.


I am not one to shed tears in front of others.

I'm not sure where or when this particular quirk of mine started, it may have been when my father passed away suddenly and I completely lost it in front of many, many others, or it may just be something that I have always been uncomfortable with..

I don't know.

Regardless, this is something that makes me squirm and also something that I try to avoid at all costs.

The past few days, however, the most mundane of everyday tasks has reduced me to a weeping puddle.

My eyes will betray me whenever my heart feels the slightest tug of sadness.

My entire family is in transition at the moment because of a choice that I made, a choice that I feel was ultimately the right decision for me and my family.

I am trusting in Him.

This (shocking for some) decision was not made without many sleepless nights and hours spent in silent prayer.

As much as I want to stay and do what is easy, I realize that I cannot.

God is definitely at work in me at the moment.

I have been experiencing the good, but my dreams lie elsewhere.

I have wanted this opportunity for so long and when it presented itself there really was no way that I could say no.

When my dad died nearly 10 years ago, I learned a heartbreaking lesson, a lesson that I wish wouldn't have taken this horrible event for me to realize.

Life is short

Nothing is guaranteed

You have to follow your dreams, your heart, and always trust in Him.

I am listening and am trusting in this decision.

As sad as I am, I cannot wait to see what the future holds.




Sunday, May 14, 2017

Change


Well, I did it.

I went for it.

Someday I know I will look back at this time in my life and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I did the right thing.

I will know that those instincts, that little voice in the back of my mind begging me to try, was absolutely right.

That day, however, isn't today.

I can't say that I am completely there, yet.

I made a major life decision this past week and am feeling all sorts of emotions.

Excitement.

Sadness.

Bewilderment.

Humility.

Trepidation.

Have I mentioned excitement

This past week, I chose to follow a dream that I've had for a very long time.

This dream of mine wasn't chased without complications.

I have constantly worried that I wasn't doing what was right for me, for my family. 

Honestly, sleep has been non- existent. 

But, during those quiet moments when I am alone, I know.

I know that this is right.

Someday I am going to smile and say, yes, I did it.

I took the hard road,

and did the right thing.

It wasn't the easy way out, there were a lot of tears, and tough moments, but in the end, it was completely right.