March 26

Tomorrow I will turn 35….

he would have been 59….

and as I sit here and type, it looks as though I am simply inputting numbers into the computer.

To most it easily looks like the numbers 35 and 59, pretty mundane and ordinary.

But to me, it is so much more.

In today's world, it's humbling and kind of exhilerating to celebrate a year of growing older.

Seeing a birthday wish sent by a long lost friend via Facebook makes me smile and appreciate social media in new ways.

But nine years ago, before social media changed our whole society, I celebrated my golden birthday by turning twenty six.

I remember that day, although it's a bit of a hazy memory, considering the fact that at the time, I had a two year old and a newly turned one year old (who had just started to sleep through the night weeks before).

That day, I remember feeling pretty excited.

I could feel the specialness of the day deep down inside.

As a child, that date on the calendar had seemed like some distant blip in the future…

like it would never come.

But come it did, and I celebrated it in my usual way….

with him.

He had a big birthday that year too.

We celebrated his big milestone because he was now a half a century old.

Little did we know that day, but it would be the last birthday that we celebrated together.

Just six months later we were forced to say good-bye.

That was the last March 26 where I was innocent and ignorant to the horrible reality of life.

God, Dad, I miss you,

so, so much.

People tell me that I need to move on

and although it's fine to miss him and mourn him,

that  I should celebrate this day because that is what he would want.

I try so hard to follow their advice.

But in all honesty, for me, March 26 will never be the same, no matter how hard I try to move on.

In my heart, it was, and always will be our day.

There was a reason I was born on his 24th birthday in 1981 and not just some random day.

It connected us,

solidified our relationship as more than just dad and daughter…

and I will spend my remaining March 26th's smiling and crying as I remember that truly great man in my life.

Happy Birthday in Heaven dad.

I love you.

Our 1st Birthday Together...

Our Last Birthday Together...